It’s hard. It’s really hard. I want to date someone who moves in the same communities and circles as me. I wanna be with someone who I can take to the Black and Brown Babes Brunch and someone who’s going to be like, ‘Let’s go check out that protest together.’ So when you limit yourself that way, it’s even harder. [Also], I’m pretty successful in my career for my age. That intimidates a lot of people. A lot of dudes will be like, ‘I work at a pizza shop.’ And then I tell them what I do and they’re like, ‘Nevermind. You’re a real adult.’ I’m not an adult. I just have a cool job.
– Ashley

Hard! I’ve tried dating apps. I have to scroll through, like, 15 people to find one Black person. It’s a lot of work and I get frustrated with the apps. I tried dating naturally but I haven’t been very successful at that.
– Shannon

I have more respect for women because I have a daughter now. That changed my whole perspective. When I was young, I saw it as a sport with women because that’s how the men we grew up around taught us. As I got older, I started to realize women are probably the best friends you can have in a relationship. They’re not trying to hurt you or steal from you. Also, I would see the shit my mother would go through with men. That ain’t cool. So my perspective changed and continues to change every day. – Jerod

In high school, I dated whoever was around. I would go to parties and concerts and whoever I met, and thought was cute, was who I would date. In college, I didn’t really date that much because I had a long-term boyfriend. I had this boyfriend who lived in Illinois, and I lived in Massachusetts, so I got to do whatever I wanted. When I moved to Chicago five years ago, we broke up and that’s when I got into internet dating. I hate it. I hate OKCupid and Tinder. There are so many trash people. You’ll see one person in that trash who, in any other circumstance would be mediocre, but you’re literally just like, ‘Well, this guy didn’t send me a dick pic so I guess I can message him back.’ – Ashley

When I was younger, I was adamant about getting in a relationship or having a boyfriend. Now, I need substance. I don’t care about a relationship. I need you to bring something to the table because now I’m looking for a future. In my world, It’s hard for a guy to go up to another guy and talk. So we utilize things like Grindr, a dating app for gays. Although it’s 2017 and we are much more accepting of gay or homosexual behavior, it’s still taboo. We have to be, not necessarily hush-hush, but very discrete in how we approach somebody. – Keith

I am looking for a man of great character. A man who is ambitious, smart and funny. It’s important to me that he’s a kind and supportive partner. He [should] have a good relationship with his family or, if he doesn’t, he’s looking to improve his relationship with his family.
– Amanda

Honesty. Strength. She has to be spiritual and God fearing. That’s first and foremost because I know we can build from there. Family-oriented, and can cook. We can’t eat out all of the time. My mom can cook so you gotta be able to cook.
– Jerod

I look for someone who has the same drive and ambition as me. Someone who’s really curious. I like to go to a lot of events. I might not go to the club every night, but if you’ll go to a panel talk with me or go to a TV screening or movie screening, I’m into that. I just look for people who aren’t afraid of new experiences.
– Ashley

I don’t like grumpy men. I don’t like men with negative attitudes. I don’t like men who aren’t self starters because I have a day job and I run several other companies. So I need someone who is gonna take charge and step into that role and help make decisions on my behalf. I’m turned on by innovation. I like men who are really creative. Guys complain about women using them to go on dates. But, a date doesn’t mean a ton of money. If you take some time and invest energy into doing something creative, you can have an amazing free day.
– Amanda

Facial hair is a turn on. If you’re at the same concert as me, that’s a turn on. People who watch the same TV shows as me, because I write TV reviews, that’s a turn on. I hate people who are super cocky. So many guys in Chicago are like, ‘Oh. I went to Whitney Young and I’m so cool.’ So you wear a suit everyday. I don’t care.
– Ashley

A turn off is lowkey competitiveness. Don’t try to compare yourself to me because we’re supposed to be one. We’re supposed to combine and help each other, not fight each other over who does what. Patience is a fucking turn on. Being you is a huge turn on. Walking around the house with your hair nappy and not concerned about makeup. Being silly is a turn on. We can joke. We can laugh. Then, I know I have a best friend and not just a girl I’m dating
– Jerod

I find that I attract men who treat me really well but they may not be that interesting. They don’t have any aspirations of stepping outside of their comfort zone. I’m not in the business of trying to change people. I think you should accept people for who they are. But meeting someone who can teach me something, grow with me and explore the world with me, that’s ideal. – Amanda

[Dating] apps make it feel like, ‘I can meet a better person tomorrow.’ When we date, nobody really knows what they want right now. You’ll meet someone and be like, ‘Oh. We click. Cool.’ And maybe, before the age of Tinder, you would try it out and get to know each other longer. Now it’s, ‘I saw that we have 20 mutual friends on Facebook. You dated three other girls that I know. I know this and that about you. I could probably find someone else on Tinder in three hours. So let’s just call it a wrap. – Ashley

My biggest challenge while dating would have to be consistency. People fall back so quick. So my fall back game is amazing, too. It’s sad because I almost go into something anticipating the fall back. I anticipate in three or four days, I’m going to be talking to someone else. – Keith

A local date might be us taking our cameras and going on a photoshoot where we go shoot in the park. I think that would be a lot of fun. In my romantic wildest dreams, we would go to dinner. We hit it off and we fly to another country and go to a soccer game. I want to fly to Barcelona and then go to a Euro match.
– Amanda

For an ideal date night, we’d meet at Cole’s in Logan Square. That’s my favorite bar. Hang out there, or go to a concert, like a DIY show. Then, probably go for late-night weird walk around town in a new neighborhood or just checking out some abandoned buildings. And drinking while we do it.
– Ashley